As a Christian I believe … is a common pre-amble to our pronouncements. But how true is it? Much of what we attribute to our faith is in fact based on such things as our politics, our tribal instincts or our prejudices.
What really worries me is not 13 year old boys holding their sons in their arms but 13 year old boys holding knives and guns and walking the streets whilst their very adult fathers are down the pub.
So much of our morality these days in this very secular society is not founded on divine inspiration or even human well reasoned judgement but on the sands of mere conformity and urban myth.
Do we seriously believe that young teenagers do not know what they are doing when they produce babies? I suspect these youngsters either want to exhibit themselves as adults or add a little excitement to lives which are otherwise meaninglessly dull. (Another common excuse used by so many for so many things is that we knew it could happen but did not think it would happen to us.) We also forget that many young fathers may come from large families in which they care for younger siblings and see nothing exceptional in that pseudo-paternal role.
As for these children losing their childhood, isn’t the object of every child to cease to be one and become an adult. Of course play and learning are essential but these are not essentially childish things. We also forget the many young people who care for their sick or disabled parents. It is the Christian thing to support all these young people.
Doesn’t sex education merely promote ‘safe’ promiscuity? It does seem a shame that support, if it comes at all, comes only after things have gone seriously ‘wrong’. Christians and all parents should see that children have something to hope for and that these children’s lives are well directed and fulfilling.
Too young? For sex, to fight in a war or to go to work? These concepts are relatively recent. The evils lie in the exploitation of the young for commercial or political gain and in the theft of early life needed for development and training. With these evils come drudgery and destitution. The teenage problems we see today result from the misconception that protecting the rights of these so called children makes them into a sub-class of person neither child nor adult. In fact they are both. The adult in these teenage boys makes them want to fight, to have sex and perhaps get a job and earn lots of money. However, the child in them still needs guidance from those with greater experience of life.
By New Testament times the minimum age for marriage was 12 years old for girls and 13 years old for boys. As for the institution of marriage itself being ordained by God, one has to ask which god? Every religion seems to have marriage rites - indeed it would be odd if they did not.
It has been suggested to me that it is the absence of discipline in the modern family that is the root of the present evils. Certainly the problems seem to result from problems in the family but not perhaps from the lack of old fashioned discipline. The lack of parental control or even interest which allows teenagers to entertain the boyfriend or girlfriend in the bedroom does not exhibit a lack of old fashioned discipline it exhibits stupidity and a lack of care. Personally I think it is nonsense to suggest that homes can become self-service with children only minded whilst parents work or socialize. Of course delegation is sometimes essential but the surrogate parent needs to be dedicated and equipped for the task. The government, putting its weight behind measures to get people into paid work, fails to recognize that there are few jobs more important than raising children. Discipline entails discipleship and to be a disciple one has to have someone to follow. Tangible role models are therefore essential to any workable form of discipline. Parents too lack suitable role models. The Jesus figure, to which Christians aspire, is only dimly replicated in the upper echelons of society. We esteem rudeness and bad behaviour generally in entertainment and political leaders either lie or conceal the truth. Is it any wonder that the young are confused when we adults are confused?
I am not in favour of underage teenagers producing babies. It is against the law of the land and presents major problems for all concerned. Depending on individual circumstances these may be either difficult or relatively easy to overcome. The young parents however equipped and sensible they are, are little more than children themselves and the two may grow apart threatening the upbringing of the child. However, I do not necessarily see these as moral dilemmas or challenges to Christian standards of behaviour however much such situations should be actively discouraged. The carrying of guns and knives on the other hand is totally contrary to the injunction of our Lord that we should love one another. Adults producing unwanted babies either in or out of wedlock is equally concerning for the same reason.
Jesus demands that we should love one another. However, the word ‘love’ in the Bible in this instance does not refer to sexual love but to Christian caring love.
So questions the boy might ask of himself are:
The questions the girl might ask herself are:
The question they must both ask themselves is: Do we love each other enough to make a lifelong commitment?
When I hear of or read about the cruelty directed against children I am sickened and, however disconcerting it may be to some, I find the fact that young people can enthusiastically approach parenthood with truly loving attitudes quite encouraging. There is the case of the seven year old who used to misbehave every Thursday at school so that he would be sent home. Every other day he was a model pupil. It was discovered that on Thursday his mother received her Giro. That if the boy did not go with her to collect her money from the post office and take her to the supermarket to do the shopping, she would spend all her money on drink. A carer at only seven! Perhaps we are too keen to pigeonhole people into age groups. Perhaps these boundaries are not so clear as we imagined and perhaps what we should we really be alarmed about is the fact that some adults can act like children and not that some children are too adult.